I Left a $250K Career and Lost My Sense of Worth Overnight

I thought leaving my 18-year corporate career was going to be the hard part.

I was wrong.

What no one tells you about walking away from the title, the paycheck, and the life you built, is that you come face to face with yourself. And for the first time, there's nothing external left to hide behind.

In this first episode, I'm sharing what really happened when I went from $250K a year to zero overnight and what I had to unlearn about where my worth actually comes from.

If you've ever tied your value to what you do, what you earn, or what you achieve... this one's for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Let's face it, you can have a life that looks successful and still feel like you're caring way too much. The pressure, the overthinking, the constant weight of holding it all together. This is Live Lighter. I'm Jessica Berg, and this show is for women who are done living like that. Each week, we'll be breaking down what's actually keeping you stuck in that pressure and how to start letting it go so that your life doesn't just look good, it actually feels good. Welcome to Live Lighter. I am your host Jessica Berg. This is episode one. Oh my god, I can't believe it's actually being birthed into this world. I have been thinking about doing podcasts for years, so I'm really happy that it's finally coming to fruition. And you know what brought that to fruition? Space. Something that I've been really, really making a non-negotiable in my business, in my personal life. I have to have space because when I have space, then I have the opportunity to bring new things into fruition, like this podcast. So welcome. Now for episode one, I figured why not just dive in deep out of the gate. You will find that I like to be completely raw and real and am extremely transparent, and through all the deep healing work that I have done on myself and continue to do because it is a lifelong journey. I am really okay and feel safe in being vulnerable. So, what I want to talk about today is one of the more shocking things that I came to realize after leaving corporate. Because when I left corporate, I thought pulling the trigger on leaving my 18-year career at the height of my career for a wonderful company, solid paycheck, great reputation, I thought that was going to be the hard part, the shocking part, the part that cracked me wide open. But it was not at all the hardest. What I didn't realize was how much of my identity was tied to my paycheck until I left the corporate. I left at the height of my career, I left an 18-year career at a good company with a great brand that I had built for years, and I left to pursue this dream that I had deep inside. And I was so focused on taking that leap and leaping into bringing my dream into reality that I didn't even have any whiff or idea that I was going to have to face so many parts of myself that I didn't even know were there, so many wounds, so many identity detachments that I needed to make. So when I chose to go from making roughly about 250K a year to zero dollars overnight as a mom with two kids, living in California with a mortgage, I knew I was putting a lot temporarily on my husband as far as being able to carry us financially until I built up my business. What I didn't realize was how much my worth in my mind was tied to how much money I was bringing in. Because all of a sudden I no longer had some of the core metrics that I tracked my value against. I didn't have a title, I didn't have achievement yet, I didn't have a paycheck, I didn't have anything. I was just me. At the time leading up to that, I saw myself as a very confident, successful woman. But that confidence was based on the external achievements. It hadn't been based on who I was as a person. And I think that was one of the biggest shifts that I experienced as an individual going through that big life change is I started to build worth and value in who I was as a human, not what I did. And so many of us, I mean, women in general, this is a big thing. I mean, when women come to me, a lot of my clients hit this, they're at this catalyst moment. And the way that I see it is your 20s and even before that. But like, let's start with like let's say the decade 20s and your early 30s, it's you're you're moving through life and making decisions based on external validation, external success, what is expected of you. And then through all of that, there is this pain and pressure that builds. And I'm not saying like your whole life is awful. I'm just saying that because you're so focused on the external success, that there is pain and pressure that does start to build. You're you're piling on roles and responsibilities, and they just keep pancake stacking one on top of the next. And then there becomes this disruptive moment in a woman's life, or what I like to call a catalyst moment. And it kind of throws them off the high stress autopilot treadmill. That big catalyst moment can be anything from getting a new boss who's toxic, losing your job, becoming a mom, health issues, a divorce, losing a loved one. Um, there's there's a lot of different things that can happen that become this disruptor, right? And when that disruption happens, and that's where we start to think, well, what do I want the next 20 years of my life? Some people call this a midlife crisis. I call it a midlife awakening. You are waking the F up. You are deciding that I am tired of living for external validation and I want the next 20 years of my life to be about internal fulfillment. This is my life. I am a soul in this body, in this lifetime, on this floating rock in the freaking middle of space, and I want my life to feel different. It doesn't have to look different because I've worked so hard to make sure that it looks freaking phenomenal. But I want to feel different in it. I want to actually relish the life I've created. I want to be present in the life I have given myself. And it's at that moment where I start to see women cross this bridge into what I like to call the golden era. Now, I have gone across this bridge, and in that bridge, there is identity detachment from the roles and responsibilities we've picked up along the way from society, from loved ones, etc. There is the reconnection and reclaiming of our power and our pleasure, who we are at our core, what actually brings us joy, our sensuality, our taking up space, the power of our voice. And then we build up the courage because we have detached from what doesn't serve us, because we have really connected with who we are as a freaking incredible woman, then we have the courage to actually take action towards the life we actually want. And it doesn't mean that that life has to be like blown up, that we need to completely change the external, but we we change how we're showing up in it. We change the internal. Actually, I should say that differently. We shift the internal so that we come back to who we are at our core. We're not changing who we are, we're just coming back to who we've always been underneath the BS. And so for me, where I was on this, if you picture this bridge, right? When I left corporate, I already had two feet on the bridge. I had felt the pain. I had had the catalyst moment with the burnouts, losing my mom. I had these disruptors. And I was standing firmly two feet on the bridge, and all of a sudden I was like, oh shit, there's some, there's some stuff. There's some stuff just here waiting for me to work through. And one of the first things that I that I faced was the identity detachment from my worth being tied to my paycheck. Now I wish I could say that it just happened those first few months. Absolutely not. I dove in the first year of me with my business. I started to replicate my corporate experience, but I was my own boss. I was working a lot, I was feeling the pressure, I was giving myself these really tight deadlines because that's what I knew. And my worth was so tied to bringing that income in that I felt that if I do more, if I produce more, I'm going to be able to hit those financial milestones that I know is out there, that I know I can get. And when those financial milestones did not come in that first year, the ones that I wanted to hit, I made some money, but it wasn't near what I where I thought I would be. That's where I was really forced to re-evaluate one, what the hell was I doing? Why was I being probably one of my worst bosses that I've had? And I didn't leave corporate to just replicate it on the other side. I left it to, yes, bring my dream to life, but also do that in a way that gives me the life that I wanted to step into, to experience my life. So there's three things that I started to do to really focus on my value being tied to my being versus my doing. Number one, I started getting really clear on what is it that actually brings me joy, and I immersed myself in it. Now, what brings me joy could be anything from literally letting myself snuggle on the couch with my kids without a device in my hand of like without being productive. And it doesn't matter if we're watching Ricky, Nicky, Dickie, and Dawn, which is a mind-numbing TV show. However, I'm snuggling with my kids, and so I don't have to, that is what I'm doing in that being in that moment. Maybe it's more art. I started dipping more into like, okay, let me get back into drawing with charcoal. Let me, I live in Southern California and I would be tethered to my desk for hours at end. Why don't I just go outside and really soak in this freaking paradise that I have chosen to live in? I started hanging out with my friends. I listened to music while I cooked instead of being productive with a podcast. I really started to let myself just be in the things that I love. I also in that started to allow myself to be more aware of my senses, my sensuality. It could be something as easy as taking your dog for a walk and not having headphones in, just letting yourself listen to the sounds of nature. It could be something as easy as not eating your lunch at your desk or not eating while you're watching TV, literally just slowly savoring every luscious bite that is hitting your tongue. So letting yourself really tap into the five senses, reading books and not just nonfiction books that help you master certain skills. That's the productivity still, right? I'm talking about like fiction books, the page turners, where you just get lost in it and you're in this whole other world and you're actually sad when the book ends because you don't want to say goodbye to the characters. So I started immersing myself in all of that. The joy, the senses. And the third piece that really helped me detach my identity from how much money I brought in was more so looking at the impact I was making. The impact I was making on my own life, the impact I was making on my children's life, the impact I was making for my husband and our marriage, my friends, my community. Like how was I showing up in all of these areas with the people that I love and adore the most? And not having impact being that it has to have some type of type of achievement, but really being present with them, really engaging with them, loving them and feeling love back, enjoying conversations and connection. And so here I am, two years on the other side of the corporate fence, having built a coaching business that supports women and their mental health, helping them step into their freaking raw, undeniable power and presence and peace. My value is tied to how I show up for the world day in, day out, and most importantly, how I'm showing up for myself. So I share this with you because maybe this resonates. Maybe you are a woman who has done everything right. You got a college degree, you got married, you had kids, you got a job that gave you a 401k, you moved up in that job. Even if it was in a male-dominated world, you proved yourself. You got the titles, you got the team, you got the paycheck, the brand recognition, and yet something still feels empty. If that is you, then maybe, just maybe, there is an immense amount of value tied to that external success, tied to the doing, and not enough of the value being tied to the being. So if I were to give any advice, start small. Start with five minutes a day of letting yourself do something that brings you pure joy. And then even before you do that, put a list together. I will tell you, it is quite eye-opening to see how hard it is to get a list of ten things that bring you pure joy. Once you have that list, give yourself five minutes each day to put a little time towards it. And then maybe expand it to ten minutes and then twenty, and then, oh my god, an hour. And then little by little, you'll release the grip that your paycheck has on your overall value, your overall worth, and you'll start to see the magnificent woman that is there underneath, that is ready to be felt, to be seen, to be heard. Alright, so that's today's podcast. Thank you for listening. If you would like to learn more about the services that I provide to women, you can check out my website at Jessbergcoaching.com. That's J-E-S-S-B-E-R-G-C-O-A-C-H-I-N-G dot com. I have an event coming up at the end of the month. It's called Exhale. It is for moving out of pressure and into peace. It is a two-day event, it is an entire experience. I literally toss out the slides for when we are live together and we are just in it, experiencing, regulating our nervous system, somatically expressing emotions, and really tapping into the future state vision of the life that we want to step into, the life that we will step into. If you'd like to sign up for that, it's $33 and you can find it on my website. Until next time, be well.